Fade to Black
by Aeden Hale
Summary: ONE-SHOT Contemplations and a gun are not two things that go together. What decision will Heero make?


Hello!  This is a one-shot story that's also a song fic.  I'm warning you guys before you read because this is really morbid.  I was listening to this song and thought, "Heero!"  Without further adieu, my story.

Fade to Black:

By Aeden Hale:

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or _Fade to Black _by Metallica.  Don't sue me, okay?  Hope you read and enjoy ^-^**

Life, it seems to fade away 

_Drifting further everyday_

_Getting lost within myself_

_Nothing matters, no one else_

_I have lost the will to live_

_Simply nothing more to give_

_There is nothing more for me_

_Need the end to set me free_

The date was After Colony 196.  The war was finally over.  The production of mobile suits had ceased and the Earth Sphere was at peace with the colonies.  The doctors confiscated all the Gundams, where they were held in a secret location in case need for them should arise again.

Each of the five pilots had a place to return to.  Quatre took over his father's business on L4.  Duo had gone with him to keep him company, but also had his scrap yard back on L2.  Wufei, the sexist among the pilots, joined the Preventers to help keep the galaxy safe.  The quiet nanashi Trowa returned to the circus and his sister, Catherine.  The only person left was Heero.

The day was dark, cold, and rainy in the Sanc Kingdom.  Heero Yuy sat by the window in his apartment, watching the raindrops slide down the glass.  What was he to do now?  The war was over.  He had no purpose now.

During the years of fighting, he had been trained, almost programmed, to be the Perfect Soldier.  Now that the fighting had stopped, he didn't know what to do.  Having no emotions, Heero didn't get along well with other people; he hadn't even bonded well with his fellow pilots.  Now that he had time to think, he began to see things a little more clearly.

Things not what they used to be 

_Missing one inside of me_

_Deathly lost, this can't be real_

_Cannot stand this Hell I feel_

_Emptiness is filling me_

_To the point of agony_

_Growing darkness taking dawn_

_I was me, but now he's gone_

The first emotion that ever came to him was confusion and he didn't like it.  Why was he the only one with no purpose?  Heero shook his head in dismay.  The perfect soldier continued to stare out the window at the falling rain.  Then he looked down at his lap.  A small smirk that oddly resembled a sad smile curled on his lips.  The pistol that he had carried on so many missions now rested unused and unneeded on his legs.

So many people had been threatened with that gun.  Heero ran his fingers over the cold metal.  Closing his eyes, he remembered when Dr. J had first given him the weapon.  It had been three days before Operation Meteor was to begin.  Being the experiment that he was, Heero had done only what he was ordered to.  His first objective had been to kill Relena, for she had seen his face.  As time slowly progressed, the pistol and a select phrase had been enough to shut a certain braided pilot up.  Where were those days now?

All the rain seemed to do was tick away the minutes.  Glancing at the clock, it was only five.  Heero sighed and stared out the window once again.  What place could an ex-soldier have in a world where peace reined?  How could he ever fit in?  It was simple: he couldn't.  Heero searched inside himself to try and tell himself that that wasn't true, but that wasn't the answer he found.  Heero looked down at his pistol and began to think a little more.

No on but me 

_Can save myself, but it's too late_

_Now I can think_

_Think why I should even try_

Suddenly it dawned on him.  He had the solution.  It had been there all along.  Heero picked up his pistol from its resting place and examined it.  It would be so simple to put the barrel to his head and pull the trigger.  No, he couldn't do that.  He'd survived innumerable battles so he could go on living.

And what about Relena?  She would be devastated to discover that he had taken his own life.  How could she love someone like him, though?  He was a warrior, a killer, and she was a pacifist of high rank.  The idea of Relena taking interest in him was ridiculous even to him.  Heero's mind kept wandering back to the same question: If he were gone, who would miss him?

Yesterday seems 

_As though it never existed_

_Death greets me warm_

_Now I will just say goodbye_

_Goodbye…_

Heero had come to his final decision.  If he couldn't fight, then he simply wouldn't exist.  He brought the pistol to his head and silently prayed to God that he could find his way to where he belonged.  He rested his finger on the trigger.

"Mission complete." He spoke aloud, his monotone voice trembling with emotion.

He pulled the trigger.  The sharp crack of the gun shook the apartment's contents.  Heero's arm drooped to his side, pistol still in hand.  Only now, the end of the barrel was coated with blood.  A steady line of crimson snaked down his face and neck, slowly soaking his shirt.  The Perfect Soldier had finally found rest.

Please review!

Aeden


End file.
